4th of July

This year was our first year at taking the kids out for the 4th of July. I was more curious to see how Kenna did than Griff. First, we went to the Big Bang on the 3rd with the in-laws. It was really foggy so after about 10 minutes of fireworks we couldn't see anything with the smoke and fog blocking the views. She was a little upset when they first started but she rallied and enjoyed them for a few minutes. She was able to see the colors of them and heard the loud pops. Then when the smoke and fog blocked the colors both kids got antsy so we ditched.

On the 4th we went to a friend's bbq. Before we left for more fireworks all the kids got to do some sparklers. I know there is a huge debate on whether or not to let your kid hold a sparkler but all the kids did great. I held them for the kids to look at. Griff was pretty uninterested. Kenna seemed to like looking at them. Then we went with the other 3 families to watch the fireworks. We were not as close to these ones and I wondered how much she would be able to see. Turns out she couldn't see anything. She kept asking when they were starting and when I told her they did and she just couldn't see them she started crying. It broke my heart. Its the first on a long list of things she won't be able to experience. Its very heartbreaking to go through the list in my mind of all the amazing sights in the world that she'll never get to fully experience. I try to focus on all the things she can do and is doing but once and a while I get a thought like that and have to hold back the tears. Will this happen forever? Will I always want to cry over the lack of sights she will see? Once I explained to her that she can hear the loud booms she seemed to calm down and listen for them. I know she won't know the difference at 4 but it still hurts. Just thinking of all the disappointment she will have to go through in her life is hard for me. I'm the mom and I just want to make sure my kids are happy and enjoying life. She seems like she will be the kid to make the best of everything so hopefully it won't be as hard. But I'm sure there will be times she is upset because she isn't "normal". Hell every kid/teenager goes through that. I just worry. Its what I do. She seemed very excited about the happenings of the 36 hours we had. She made sure to tell us everything we did on the car ride home and was genuinely content with the fireworks. Hopefully she will continue to look at the positives and roll with the punches as she grows up. But just hearing her excitedly tell me about everything we did was a reminder of how she remembers the fun times and not the sad times. More people should be like that. My 4 year old is already teaching life lessons.

Wow

Man I really suck at blogging. I'm going to make this my mid year resolution to keep it up. With the one kid on summer break and the other trying to scale the gate with an anywhere chair, I'll need the outlet. So stay tuned people. I will be back.

The School Strike

The teachers are on strike. They can't come up with an agreement with the union for whatever they want. I don't really even know what they want. But it SUCKS. My child is driving me crazy. She never stops talking ever. Of course her brother is thrilled to have her home because I think he gets bored when she is gone. I am praying they come up with a contract soon. She needs school. She needs the routine and the socialization. And I really need the time to myself. I miss quiet.

Although this pretty much solidifies that I am done with 2 children. I kept having waves of wanting another but I'm so done. SO done. I will miss being pregnant and all that comes with that. And I'll miss the baby snuggles. Both of mine only snuggle when they are sick. I'm hoping my friends start having babies soon so I can get the snuggles. I have toyed with the idea of surrogacy but I'm not sure I can get the hubs on board with it. We shall see. I need to get to a healthier weight before I even bring it up. At least the grandparents will be happy. Every set tells me that I need to stop because they can't afford any more. Apparently they have a say over my reproduction. I always say if you aren't there for the making, you don't get a say. ;)

Damn kids

I really wanted to keep up with this blog after making it. Every time I went to write, something came up. I blame kids. But I vow to make time for this blog from now on. :)

Since preschool has started I've had some extra time to myself during the day. Its nice. I should use the time to nap or read but I usually do something around the house. I have a hard time just relaxing. I should really see someone about that. I still have my rough days. Most of the time the day starts at 6:30-7. I realize that isn't a horrible time but when your first kid was sleeping until 8 or later, its hard to get use to being up that early. Its a work in progress.

Preschool is going relatively well. The only problem is that Kenna isn't eating. I know she usually takes a while to get use to people so I'm really hoping that once she adjusts, she'll eat more. I don't like the idea of her not eating for 7 hours or so. But the teacher says she is participating and seems happy so thats good. I know she needs the help and the socialization. The rest will come together. I think having the structured environment will also be beneficial. I just wish I could see what she is doing. I'd love to be able to observe her for a day to just see but I don't think that is possible. She is taking the bus to and from school which was worrisome at first. She seems to be handling that well too. We have days where she isn't entirely thrilled to get on but she doesn't get too upset. I'm starting to believe that I was making this into a bigger deal than it needed to be. I was pretty worried about how she'd deal and it hasn't really phased her. My baby is so grown up.

Now if only I could find somewhere to stick the little one. ;) Having some alone time with him has been good. I was sad that he wasn't getting the attention that Kenna had when she was little. I think he misses his big sissy though. He seems to get into all the things when she isn't here. Poor guy. At least he is easy to travel with. Whenever we have to do anything I just need to bring his snacks and he is content. Its still unbelievable to me that my almost 9 month old is eating more solid type foods than my 3 year old. Such is life.

Time for some chores before the little dude wakes up. Or maybe a nap.

Well this is ackward.. I had a blog about a year ago to follow the journey of my daughter. I hadn't posted in a while so I guess it has become inactive. You can read up on her and her condition at

http://livinglifeblindly.blogspot.com/

I plan to continue to post about her and her new little brother and all the fun we have during our first summer in Chicago. :) But right now its almost midnight and the 7 month old likes to get up at the crack of dawn so I need to hit the hay. Be sure to check in to see all the adventures we have!